I want a love like...

Friday, October 13th, 2017 12:02 am
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[personal profile] spidersweb1
Lionel and Jean
Phryne and Jack
Westley and Buttercup

Who do you espouse for relationship ideals?


Thursday, October 12th, 2017 12:18 pm
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Flip Flop guy is no more. He ghosted more than a week ago, and I called him on it (politely), which I needed for my sake. He responded politely (which I suspect is bullshit, but a half point because he wasn't a jackass) (only a half point because he took until calling-out to do anything).

Then, Hurricane Nate messed with my weekend plans and caused an important SCA event to be rescheduled...which is causing me to miss other social plans. It's really came down to: yes, there will be other SCA events, but there's only this once chance to see my friend receive this particular honor. It won't happen again, and I'm part of the ceremony. So, thanks to my incredible gracious and understanding local friends, I'm going to the rescheduled event.

But right now? MEH. I'm incredibly resentful that my energy this week has been spent on this event- reassuring people involved, finishing things others didn't, cat-herding, and generally NOT getting to be the lazy bum I really wanted to be this week. Or working on my own crafts.

Lesson planning has been in there somewhere, too. And, y'all, the things I have to do to make it work with the traveling. Sigh.

Will I have fun? Yes. And, all in all, this is good: the rescheduled location is 2 hours closer and the site is $10 cheaper. But I'm emotionally tired right now. (Not emotionally exhausted, and I a man pleased that I can sense the difference.)

My friend who is being honored is one of the ones needing all this buoying up, and she was expressing frustration (people she'd paid to do certain things for the event on its original schedule, and still hadn't done it as of this week! 😧), and was mentioning that some of these folks are people she'd made things for, and now that she's being elevated, they don't seem to be able to be bothered to do anything, and it makes her feel that she doesn't matter. (And I don't resent buoying her, as I've seen firsthand what she's talking about. It's one of the reasons she started a women's only household for us in the SCA-- to support each other when others won't.). That's a variation of what I'm feeling right now. Good, but not good enough.

My weight's also been stalled for a while, so I feel flabby, fat, and lazy (you walked in and oops a daisy-- sorry, couldn't help the Disney).

I've been sad about missing other SCA events in August and September, so I still feel I'm making the right decision to go, but I can't help wishing that...well, we all had a little more control over our lives!!!

October 2017


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